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Thankful

What's the best way to realize what you're most thankful for? When you're staring down the barrel of those things that you're least thankful for. Cynicism's driving so watch out...

1. Health. You don't think of your health until you're faced with a life-changing or at least extremely painful, health-related event. I just recently had a blasty blast of an opportunity passing a kidney stone. Holy hell pain.

2. Anything With Electricity Pulsing Through It. I love technology and am bored without it. It doesn't really matter what it is as long as it requires at least 9v.

3. Little Ones. Noah and Ashton are the shnigy. I love every moment with them even when they're balls of shit.

4. My AG Fam. I know you're not supposed to love work but I love my gig and all my colleagues. I call them my fam because what else would you call a group of people you spend most of your waking hours with? : )

5. Storms. I love horrific and terrifying storms. Utah storms can't touch Michigan storms. This is probably one of the few things I miss about MI.

6. Swears. You can't beat appropriate, but most importantly, timely use of swears. They're just great.

Okay, there's more but I'm bored now.

Tomorrow, My Friday

It's funny how sometimes you spew out a phrase that seems completely obvious to yourself but is completely foreign to everyone around you. At the office today, I mentioned that tomorrow's my Friday and how I can't wait for my long 10-day break to begin. In actuality, tomorrow is Thursday but I'm done working for the week tomorrow so I look at it as being my Friday. Apparently I'm one of the few that looks at it this way.

And to an image that sums up my feelings very eloquently...

Synth

Does synth mean anything to you? I was attempting to describe the genre of a music group to an associate of mine today. The best way I could describe it was as synthesized-pop. I'm pretty sure he was just as lost with the term.

synth (snth)
n.
1. Informal A synthesizer.
2. A style of light popular music made with synthesizers. Also called synth-pop.

Bite Me Kori

Okay, this is going to sound super nerdy but Kori finally won at Catan tonight. And not just once but twice! I really, REALLY hate it when she wins but I guess it's only fair since she hasn't won squat in a VERY long time. I seriously think it's been at least a quarter of year. Doesn't that sound like forever when it's put that way. Any way State's, good job!

What I'm Listening to Right Now

So, I didn't make it home on time tonight for a five o'clock pre-Thanksgiving Thanksgiving dinner so I'm all alone at home, just me and my computer. BTW, who the hell schedules a dinner at 5:00? With nothing better to do, I thought I'd sort through my gobs of music files. Right now I'm listening to the The Echoing Green. Joey is amazing. Here's a taste:





Lyrics

Flame (Joey B., Chrissy J.)

It's a dark and lonely winter
you say "this hell's never felt so cold."
yet there's the faintest smell of cinders
and a truth yet to be told

and a sound surrounds your secret
someting I've heard, but can't yet see
like whispers in the twilight
the secret now revealed to me...

it's a flame...
burning just behind your eyes
I'm praying for rain
but nothing will put out these fires
that burn and blaze

wait
let's not forsake all these years
if you'd just stay...
there's so much truth still to hear

and I'll listen all night
to your hopes and every fear
I won't say it's alright...
these things always end in tears.

you're fanning the flame
and everything is catching fire
the things that you hate
and everything that you desire...
are one and the same.
running to escape this pyre
and cover the shame
hiding just behind your eyes
through green and grey.

we turn turn with hearts on fire
we feel it inside, we're steeling to die
to burn burn what we conspire
we cast it aside, to keep us alive

there's a flame
the things that you hate
the tears that you taste
we burn it away

there's a flame.

This Week's Conference Schedule

I just finished packing and scheduling all of my time for this week's conference in Chicago. As packed as it looks, the days fly by and its actually an exhilarating time.



I've had that sinking feeling, since I left the office on Friday, that I was forgetting something or multiple somethings. And I was. While driving home from the Symphony yesterday, I remembered that I hadn't packed current business cards. But that can't be it. There's got to be more. I'll let you know when I find out.

Family History Library a Bust!

Today at lunch, I hopped on a free-zone train and road it up to Temple Square to visit the Family History Library.



I was pretty excited to dig around and see what I could find with my bio-mother's birthday in hand. I walked in and spoke with the first available clerk. I explained what I was trying to do and was kindly told that they specialize in dead people. I was also told that my search was technically illegal. I was given a website to try but I had of course already been there and came up empty handed. My next stop is going to be Library Square. From what I understand, they're connected to a national newspaper archive system.

The 'Where I'm From' Document

I'm back on the hunt for my birth parents. I came across my background summary paper the other day and didn't realize the wealth of information that was in it. Take a peek...

BACKGROUND SUMMARY - JASON BRIAN KOL
Dated December 16, 1977

The young lady who gave birth to Jason was born on April 7, 1956. She was 5 feet 5 inches tall, weighed 125 pounds, had medium brown hair and blue eyes. Her national background was Dutch and German and her religious background was Reformed. She was a high school graduate and was employed in the assembly line of a local factory up until the time of her delivery.

This young lady had known the alleged father of Jason for about three years. She met him through friends in her home town. Since her pregnancy, the relationship became somewhat more sporadic. She and this young man did consider marriage at one time, bus she then realized he was not ready to settle down and therefore could be a good father to the baby. She did receive quite a bit of support from him during the pregnancy. However, during her pregnancy she was able to see him in a more realistic light and realize the faults he did have. She then was no longer interested in continuing the relationship.

This young lady continued to live at home throughout her entire pregnancy. She was from a small close knit family, and received a great deal of support from her parents during this time. She considered keeping her child for a short time because of some family pressure, but then realized the she really wanted the child to have more than she was able to give him as a single parent. She also saw her work at the factory as being a temporary thing, and hoped to further her education or find a better job sometime in the future. She was a very mature, likable 19 year old who could easily make a good future for herself.

Her parents were both life time residents of her rural home town area. Her father was 45 years old, had an eighth grade education, and had been a farmer all his life. Her mother was 40 years old, had completed two years of college, and was a housewife. This young lady's mother was herself an adopted child. The young lady also had three younger sisters and younger brother. Their ages were 18, 16, 10 and 5. Her oldest sister was also a factory worker and the three youngest were all in school. The entire family attended the Reformed Church.

The alleged father of Jason was born on March 30, 1955. He was 6 feet 1 inch tall, weighed 175 pounds, has straight reddish-blond hair, and blue eyes. He was 20 years old, and also of Dutch and German background. Although he was not attending any church at the time of this pregnancy, he was also raised in a Reformed home. This young man has a ninth grade education and was employed at a packing plant in his home town area. Together he and the young lady decided that giving up the baby for adoption would be the best thing possible for all concerned. Although he did not offer the young lady financial assistance, he was fairly supportive of her and cooperative in the release.

The young man's father was 47 years old and was employed as a street commissioner. His parents were divorced and the young man lived with his mother. She was 49 years old, had a twelfth grade education, and was employed at a factory. He had three sisters and one brother, all younger than himself. One of his sisters was married and a housewife. Another sister was also employed at a factory, and the other two siblings were both students.

As to significant health history, on the maternal side, the young lady's grandmother had diabetes. There were no other significant health problems. On the paternal side, the young man was somewhat hard of hearing and also had a brother who had problems with anemia.

Jason Brian was born on November 28, 1975 in Iowa. At birth he weighted 7 pounds 9 ounces and measured 19 inches in length. His physical exam at the time of discharge from the hospital was entirely normal. He had medium complexion, lots of dark hair, and blue eyes. He was placed in one of our agency licensed foster homes on December 2, 1975 where he continued to grow and develop normally. On January 8, 1976, Jason was transported to Grand Rapids and placed in an agency licensed foster home where after a slow adjustment period, he continued to grow and develop normally. He was examined by one of our agency pediatricians on January 16, 1976. At that time he weighted 10 pounds 14 ounces and measured 21 1/2 inches in length. Jason was placed with his parents February 19, 1976

BETHANY CHRISTIAN SERVICES

Deanna Eppinga
Caseworker

Date Night

Jason and I got to go and have a date night tonight. It was so nice and long overdue. My dad and Val came up and watched the boys while Jason and I got to go to dinner and a movie. I can't remember the last time that we have had time to ourselves without any children. We went and had mexican food then to see Bride Wars (my choice obviously) it was a fun movie and a much needed night away. Thanks Dad and Val.

Pictures

I wanted to go and have pictures taken with Noah and Ashton, today so while I was visiting my mom we decided to take the boys to kiddie kandids. I wanted some pictures with them together and separate. Ashton was not going to have anything to do with that. He freaked out he clung to me or my mom, anytime we tried to put him down. We even tried to bribe him with props but nothing worked. I finally gave up and just got pictures with Noah. Maybe someday I will get some good pictures of them together. While at my mom's house later that day I did get one picture of them together, not exactly what I had in mind but it will have to do for now.



Ashton was trying to take Noah out of the laundry basket so he could have it all to himself.